Current mood:

pleased

2003 Summarization
Preface:
I would prefer to use this entry to explore the following matters and events in a more fufilling manner, but due to the fact that I've not updated this journal in so long, I feel it is necessary to summarize only the accomplishments of the previous year so that I may get on with more recent happenings. It's still pretty big, though, so you don't have to read it unless you care to know. It's here for personal reference so that I may have the year 2003 essentialized, but somebody may find what I have to say about some things to be interesting. Also, I don't like typing so stoically, but I can't really personalize these events because of the summarization and the fact that I'm not writing them during the times in which they happened. Being caught up in what you've done lends a good deal to conveying something that can capture the situations more realistically, and so I suppose I lost that chance for these old matters, but I'm not going to hold that against me. I still have so much future to look forward to, and so much more stuff to post in the future, so read on, if you will..

Sometime around the latter parts of 2002 and into the following year, I came to consciously recognize the fact that in order to improve myself in any way realistically, I must build, strengthen and sharpen my thinking with the proven means available to mankind: art and science. Because the means by which most knowledge is recorded and the most prominent platform for art is literature, I decided to pursue reading in and of itself as my first step towards improvement. Since then, I have managed to read a decent bit of nonfiction, the most notable of which are everything up to volume 4: Wizard and Glass of Stephen King's Dark Tower saga, Ayn Rand's Anthem, and Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn. Nonfiction works include completely reading HTML Complete 2.0, and a lot of Objectivist philosophical materials, pretty much all of which was penned by Ayn Rand. Unfortunately, it became apparent to me that you can find a good deal of work out there, both fiction and non-fiction, that is the result of a lot of confused, ambitousless, unfulfilled, or just plain nonsensical efforts. I know this because my efforts at finding reading material without good references lead me into skimming over a lot of subpar, misleading, or just plain pointless writings. I suppose it's due to the fact that it's so easy to simply pick up a pen and start writing something that there is so much junk that can be read. I think that predicament is a very good thing, though, because that easiness and simplicity also allows anybody with great desires to pursue producing quality works without expending many resources. That much has been proven to me by the good literature I've read already. Because it's so convenient, who cares about dealing with the crap when you can simply occupy yourself with the quality writings available, as well as make the effort to produce something great without being restricted anymore than anyone else? Too bad I can't find myself with the ability to determine the quality and content of a book without reading much of it to the same extent I can with games by means of analyzing their packaging, looking over ads, etc. I suppose a perk like that will develop to a greater extent in due time, once I become more seasoned with literary experiences.

Around May I made a second trip to visit the noble Harlock Hero, this time staying at his parent's apartment, where he lived and continues to do so. During my stay there, we've ate at several excellent restaurants, purchased quality art, and subjected ourselves to the various forms of said quality art, most notably of which was Mobile Suit Gundam. Harlock is very familiar with that animation, of course, but it was a new experience for me, one that left me for the better, as it proved to me just how great an animated series can be. Harlock and I, as well as Linda to an extent, engaged in numerous martial duels, some of which left Harlock and I with fractured fingers :(. On that subject, Harlock is particularly mention-worthy, for he managed to seriously smash my right index finger two times consecutively and a third time on the following day X_X. Little after the moment of the third blow, I honestly thought I would require surgery(-ies??) to fix the mangled mess my hand had become, but it survived very well, thank goodness. After a week or so, the three of us made our efforts to finalize our costumes, or in my case, start one, for the anime convention Jacon 2003. I had the task of having to use various store-bought furnishings with what was available at their home while Linda and Harlock completed the touches on their costume designs. Harlock and Linda had originally planned to go as a combination of Locke and Celes from Final Fantasy 6, but being that Linda procrastinated a bit, she ran into some problems with the functionality of her costume's straps, the likes of which she found herself without time to fix. Fortunately, she managed to pull together a last minute Kimono dress with accompanying fan that proved to look very good and provide a pleasantly themed clothing to present at the convention. My efforts towards creating a costume proved to be more successful than I imagined, for it so happened that my good sense of aesthetics and imagination led me into crafting a vampire-hunter-theme with an unusual blend of authenticity and fantasy, picked with a consistent color combination of blue, black, and brown, and finished with some creative accessories. It seemed that this setup was a refreshing change to what one could typically expect at a convention, such as styrofoam breast plates, plastic hair, and aluminum swords, because so many people were complementing me on my clothing as well as requesting that I let them take a picture of me. As for Harlock, his locke costume was a seriously excellent piece, representing one of Yoshitaka Amano's finer designs. However, the greatness of his costume was lost on many people at the convention, due to the fact that most people attending have an interest in more mainstream and current productions, rather than an acquired taste that requires significant recognition of past art and the quality that lies therein. But, he found himself in some photos too, some of which were taken with me. Some of these should still be available at the following links:

http://www.risingsun.net/gallery/jacon2003/34/source/j2003-2075.shtml

http://www.risingsun.net/gallery/jacon2003/34/source/j2003-2076.shtml

http://www.risingsun.net/gallery/jacon2003/37/source/j2003-2287.shtml


In recent months, I've pursued further conceptualization of my concurrent game designs, and, in the process of this effort as well as my ventures into all the art that I have been subjected to during 2003, I've come to understand greatly the nature of artwork and the means by which one designs art. I've always had a general idea of what it means to create art as well as how to go about it, but I never really clarified the effort and recognized it as a matter of philosophy until recently. To be honest, it's almost amazing to know how sophisticatedly simple a process art creation is, and I'd like to talk about my discovery, but I think it's best I hold that off for another future entry. For now, just know that I have made excellent progress in the design of my games.

As for this journal...

Well, it's a sad thing that I have abandoned it on so many occasions. A good deal of this latest hiatus is due to the fact that, until recently, I have been without an internet account to call my own. Because of a lack of attention on my father's behalf, my aol access was terminated around June, and thus I have not participated in much online activity since then. However, that is not to say that I am without fault. It should be obvious to any aspiring person that my predicament can't prevent me from using my journal, because something like the loss of personal internet access doesn't eliminate the possibility of using other means outside of my home. I've managed to use the local library computers and those of a few acquaintances to make contact with Harlock Hero on numerous occasions, so that alone proves that I was more than capable of simply going to Livejournal.com and utilizing the editing functions available through the site. The real problem, I think, was my lack of interest in sustaining this effort. I really didn't have a strong concept of the benefits of maintaining a journal, and I suppose that's because my livejournal is my only real experience with journals and their usage. Knowing that this system is structured with social contact as a key element, I let myself be distracted with that rather than use it for the actual purposes of enhancing and sustaining mindfulness towards living, concept building, and clarification of acquired concepts. However, it was due to the fact that I was away from my journal that led me into realizing the importance of it. See, being without internet has given me the time to rediscover the desires and hobbies that led me to use a computer in the first place, which in return allowed me to reflect on my identity and restructure my goals. As a result, I was once again lead to consciously recognize my purpose in living. Right now, for better or worse, that's something of which I have yet to build beyond a general idea of artistic pursuit stemming over the next few years of my life. I suppose I really shouldn't worry beyond that, though... or at least, not from that perspective. It's really a matter of having the ideal philosophy and exercising it to take action for the moment so that the moment can build into the future, because it's your actions right now that are constantly deciding what next will happen and lead into an overall course of life that can be recognized and understood. You can't really put yourself in a completely predicted situation with the proper elements in ten years without knowing all the influences and factors that can lead up to that point in the future, and that sort of thing is an impossible task. The universal content is not completely controllable, but if anything is to happen like you want it, it requires constant activity in accordance to your desires, and if those desires are to be clear, that activity is to be wise and efficient, you need to have the philosophy guiding them. That's where a journal helps... This requires brutal honesty with myself, so I want to abandon any pretenses I may have built with this journal and get on with what I want to do. I think Optimus Prime would agree with me. On that note, I shall end this entry with a, simple, yet faultless quote from the semi-truck champion himself:

"This time, no force in the universe can stop me."