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mood |
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fucking exhausted dude |
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Lynard Skynard - Freebird |
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It's been awhile, but I've got that job at k-mart, and for the most part I've been preoccupied with that, gaming, and sleeping. However, I'm managing my time better now (if only because I'm not loafing as much from having to run around frantically) so I can do other stuff like update this journal and draw and etc... Anyway, I pilfered this survey that dozens of others have taken, and decided to take it myself. I made big answers, but it's because I tend to think of these things as personal tests of reason and introspection rather than just amusing passtimes. Forgive if I start to trail off and sound incomprehensible, but it's now 6 in the morning, and I haven't had sleep in 16+ hours...
1. Can you walk around your house @ night with the lights off and not run into anything? I used to practice this when I was younger, and while doing so I would mentally visualize my surrounding area and see how well I percieved them. I would do this when I was bored, to both test my abilites and to adjust the way I utilize my visual senses in order to capture the most detail in the least amount of time.
2. Ever put off emailing for over a month? It's not that I 'put it off', but rather disregard the process when unnecessary. I tend to do this with communication in general. I also send harlock pronography ads, pictures, and links as a sign of love, but he doesn't seem to notice me ;_;
3. Ever received a ""why don''t you write me?"" In some ways, yes, but it's done in a much more confrontational manner because I don't make it an obligation to call my relatives or whomever cares every 4 days and ramble about nothing in particular just for the sake of 'keeping in touch'. I'll save that pleasure for those who constantly provide me interesting, enlightening and enjoyable experiences, thank you.
4. Ever taken your frustration/bad mood out on others? sometimes, but rarely it happens.
5. Ever had a huge argument and then realized that you were wrong? yeah, it used to happen when I was younger, but now I only get into huge arguments if I'm certain that the belief/knowledge/concept I support is valid, and during those times it's usually the other persons involved that turn it into an argument due to their tendency to defend themselves using emotional explosions, aggressiveness, and/or loudness.
6. Ever left things the way they were just because it would be harder to resolve it? I wish this was more specific, because I could answer this with a 'yes' just because I often create new rules or deny myself certain benefits in video games in order to make the experience much more fufilling. Otherwise, if I don't plan to test myself or improve my ability to handle a similar situation, I'll assess problems as efficiently and directly as possible.
7. Ever thought someone was "hopeless?" I do now, in the same way harlock does.
8. Ever been so dazed that you take a drink of water but completely miss your mouth? I don't recall any specific situation with water, but otherwise, yeah.
9. Ever dropped your toothbrush in the toilet? No, thank zog. My toilet handle is broken so you can imagine the amount of blag that collects inside the bowl before I go to manually pull the chain to flush it all.
10. Have you ever dropped something in the toilet that you HAD to retrieve? yes, and sometimes with stuff in the bowl -_-
11. Ever driven off from the gas station without closing the gas thing? I haven't let to happen to myself but it's happened often with people I rode with. Usually though, I tend to be like harlock and warn them of it before hand.
12. Can you sleep better @ night or during the day? In terms of general sleep quality, the night, but I think it really depends on what kind of bed I have. And unlike harlock, I seem to have more dreams during the day, if only because I wake up more often and as a result I remember them
13. Do you print out pictures of celebrities/musicians off of the Internet? not that I recall.
14. Have you ever entered an art contest? a few times, and it was usually stuff that wasn't directly related to the process of putting elaborate markings on paper.
15. Do you remember the Lisa Frank phase? It was a phase??? and this phase is over? *blink*... I kinda thought of it as a cultural belt that resided between 4th and 9th grade :\
16. Is your favourite colour evident by the clothes you wear? Not too much, but anybody with decent perceptivity can tell that I enjoy clothes of a mellow, simple yet introverted design made up of soft, slighty luminescent colors. The same thing can be said about a lot of things, actually... Btw, this survey either originated in England or by a person of some sophiscation.
17. Coats and sweaters or tank tops and bathing suits? I sense that this is a question about being reserved or outgoing, but I'll make like harlock and briefly describe my fashion sense (if you would want to call it that): I prefer comfortable pants of a baggy nature (which is why they're comfortable), long shorts (kinda oxymoronic, but think Zell from FF8), along with an unassuming white t-shirt, a carribean/dragon button up t-shirt, and the occasional colored shirt with a witty/unique phrase imprinted on it. I like playing dress-up though, so you might find me in skirts, cowboy pants and flannel, 70s clothes, or anything else I feel like donning.
18. Do you think everyone should have a significant other during the winter months? we don't really get winter in florida, but i can imagine that it would be especially nice to have a snugglebunny when its cold outside. but really, winter or no, its nice to have somebody (for not just harlock, despite lack of personal experience ;_;)
19. Is there a movie that you can really relate to? geez... I haven't watched too many, but to pick one I'd have to choose that 70s movie *I think* steven speilberg first directed. You know, that one involving this mustached guy driving down some long stretch of highway who cuts off this unknown guy in a semitruck, which results in the mustached guy getting chased by that unknown person all throughout the movie up until he drives to his death over a mountain. It was about an hour or so long, and the only part in which any vocal communcation is produced is when the mustached guy stops at a local diner. Even then, 90% of the speech is his thoughts concerning that unknown driver being played out to viewer. It may have just seemed like a movie surrealistically depicting nothing, but to me it signified how a person's harmless daily affairs, even his disposition alone, can indirectly result in undeserving situations which prove to be of an insignificant, easily forgettable nature. Yet, due to the actions of others they forcibly become important to the main person involved who then has to deal with these senseless burdens which upon completion reap no accomplishing benefits except a return to, or establishment of, the rational calmness that should naturally be that persons life.
20. Ever found lyrics to a song that almost exactly describes you? well, yes and no. I haven't found lyrics that directly state who I am as a whole, but I've found numerous songs containing meanings and words that describe a certain facet of my psychology, personality, and/or past situations.
21. Ever go to a ""place of business"" so often that costumers think you work there? It's happened even when I first enter a store. It really depends on how I fit into the nature of the store and the size of it.
22. Would you go to a strip club to watch members of the opposite sex? Same sex? I think such activity is worthless... but one day I might do that, just once, out of curiosity. But, chances are I'd end up feeling let down and frusturated with myself due to me forsaking what my foresight warned me of and then letting my imagination embellish the remaining details I paid attention to.
23. What do you think of guys who dress in drag? It seems like a funny idea, and is probably a good way to release and/or obliterate nervous tensions. Now, I could technically say I dressed in drag once, but it was done as a parody, expressing my concept of the "frenchquarter hooker". It's a long story...
24. Do you think movies overemphasize the differences in society (Sexual preferences, racial, cultural, religious identities)? To quote harlock " it depends on the intent, and whether or not the character is meant to be iconic. more often than not though, this is just the result of unimaginative film writers." I agree with that entirely, and it's a good enough response as to not require any additional input on my behalf... Well, maybe not. I can mention that this overemphasis is done to also resemble profoundity, since many people mistake meaning with arbitrary ambiguity and/or convolutedness, and make the assumption that these two things can easily be interchanged and nobody would know the difference. (they're correct if you consider the neurotypical will not bother with any thoughts or ideas that can be concieved from meaningful creations and simply accept it as "deep shit", but let us disregard that demographic entirely) If you want to know what I mean, watch some random animes (especially gundam) and you're bound to come across stuff like "step up towards the path of the heavens and fly to deepest blue skies". While things like that can be intepreted as having meaning by itself, it often doesn't bear enough significance to the product it's from, and just ends up being meaningless banter composed of fancy rethoric tacked on carelessly. Basically, it all goes back to what harlock said: unimaginative writers. :\
25. Do you look @ people in the car next to you at the stoplight? Yeah, but I usually do it to see if they're looking at me, and if they are, I'll make an amazingly awkard, strange, bizarre or uncomfortable expression, scene, and/or position and act nonchalant about it. I usually get favorable and enjoyable results, since I do it both as a form of self-amusement and to break others out the patterned thoughts, expectations, chores, and affairs that become their lives.
26. Ever said a word so many times in a row that it didn''t even sound like a word anymore? Yeah. A strange occurance, isn't it? I can only guess that it's due to breaking it down beyond implied recognition and becoming concious of what it naturally is: a weird sound.
27. Was there a book series you read growing up? the only 'series' I've read was the Black Cauldron books. Other than that, I mostly indulged in strange and obscure, scientific, and generally interesting writings at any place that carried it (libraries, peoples houses, etc...). speaking of which, I remember reading the complete and accurate adult (as in designed to be read by a fully matured individual) rendition of the King Auther and Co. legends in 6th grade. Remember kids, don't let Disney and hundreds of bastardized 'child edition' fairy tale books pollute your idea as to what kind of person King Auther was, or the life he lived and the situations that befell him. The sword he got from the stone WAS NOT Excalibur, it was a Fancy Broadsword of Incredibly Good Craftmanship +5, but NOT Excalibur. He got Excalibur from the Lady in the Lake (I'm only mentioning this because I got into a huge argument with a friend named Dennis over this. Damned ignorant buffoon)
28. Do you write letters on notebook paper, stationary, computer paper, other, or all? To quote harlock once more " when at home, i write letters solely electronically, but when travelling i use either notebook paper or linen paper depending on what i have handy" well put, and it applies to me as well.
29. Ever written a letter to someone and weren't able to give it to them because it was so personal and detailed? I could quote harlock again, but I'll just say it differently instead: I did this a few times, but it was of a nature that clearly showed my unsane, confused, angered, and/or dellusioned self...
30. Where do your wet towels end up after your shower/bath? In this big heaping mound of moist fabric objects and raunchy clothing articles on the floor of my sink&mirror room, which leads to a bathroom and the hallway, both closed off by seperate doors. I tend to wash this mound once or twice a month, depending on the severity of the stench and the stage the mushrooms reached
31. Ever guessed what time it was and been off by Hours? .... I've been off by months -_-
32. Do you have a subscription to anything? not anymore. I've had numerous subscriptions to a variety of things throughout the years, with my latest one being PSM magazine. I stopped renewing it around late 2000, as that marked the time I started to take what I read more seriously and not just for general information and happenings.
33. Do you get more friend mail, business mail, or junk mail? mostly junk mail, but I do get the occasional e-mail stating a change of account for some ohrrpgce member, or maybe afrom a past friend. Other than that, business mail is probably the least amount I get, but by far the most predictable and controllable as I only get it when being involved in something businessish, like ebay transactions or something similar.
34. Ever slept nude? I often end up sleeping with everything I have on (cause I be so tired), which results in me waking up 2 hours later to rip off the clothing and accessories that managed to twist around, strangle, mangle, chafe, and irritate various body parts and areas of mine.
35. Ever walked around your house nude? occasionally, even when somebody is here, but during those times I tend to wear baggy, ripped boxer shorta that reveal a bit too much and requires a lot effort to hold up.
36. Anyone ever accidentally see you naked? Visa versa? Yup, it's happened quite a few times, both to me and to other people. One time I was at my friend Adam's house, and I was positioned on his couch in such a way as to have direct view towards his bathroom door, and his 7 year old brother Christopher ran out from the depths of the back hallway and rammed it, causing the door to fly open and reveal a shower curtain blocking view of his father taking a shower. That wasn't anything notable, but then his father proceeded to yank back the curtain and turn around in such a swift manner as to cause his manhood to swing vigorously, then he quickly chastised his son and got back to his shower.
37. Do you dental floss daily? nah, more like whenever I eat something that leaves stuff in the mouth that necessiates it (popcorn, chips, stringy shit, mushy junk, blarf)
38. Do you use mouthwash or think that brushing is enough? I like having a clean, white smile, but unfortunately, mouthwash is not cheap. But when I do have it I use it vigorously, for I enjoy the feelings it produces (especially listerene).
39. Ever been in the middle of a sexual act and actually Felt The Heat between the two of you? The only heat I've felt so far is palm friction. That's usually the sign to let me know when I need to dab a few globs of petroleum jelly to lubricate things up a bit.
40. Are you able to act? yes, and very well too.
41. Can you give public speeches without freaking out? I don't freak out, but I tend to have some reservations towards gaining the attention of a 'public'. Usually, I try to limit such activity to people that won't hold any foolish preconceptions about various 'sensitive' topics or whatnot, and have the mental attitude to accept truths and adapt themselves to those truths without denial and/or hostility. But of course, I can handle it either way.
42. Ever had to think extremely hard to remember what happened the day before? Sometimes, it's usually not just a day but particular segments of a past occurance I suddenly found interesting and or important to remember.
43. Which is better: Both can be good or bad. h0nk?
44. Do you drive through town, or around it? When I'm actually driving, I'll do whatever suits the purpose efficiently and safely.
45. Ever find humor in a part of a movie that no one else does? Due to my very esoteric and completely strange sense of humor I can usually find humor in a lot more than movies, and usually it's indirectly established rather than being purposely set up.
46. What do you spend most of your money on? too much. Video games, clothes, the bare minimum household cleaners and utensils, soaps, shampoos and conditioners, food, drinks, computer eletronics, books, etc...
47. What do you waste most of your money on? hmm... well, modern times necessitate the purchase of a lot of the things in order to get by comfortably and happily, but what the future has in store for us eliminates any reason to put forth currency towards these things too, so by those standards they can be considered a waste. Others may also look at my hygenic habits as being worthless, but I enjoy them, so bah
48. Can you like the lyrics without liking the song? Usually it's the other way around. I focus on the actual technical composition and execution of the music involved and how the individual(s) producing it influence these things, and if applicable how well it enhances or compliments the scene or situation it's applied to in a move/game.
49. Can you like the song without understanding the lyrics? Like harlock said, I can enjoy songs without being able to decipher what the people say, but due to new high fidelity headphones, a rocking soundcard, and highly tuned settings I rarely have that problem anymore. I also enjoy some songs with foreign vocalizing too, although I don't have too many of those.
50. Are accents a turn on? I'm usually exaggerating them to obnoxious proportions, so I don't often look at it as being something attractive. However, that isn't to say that I wouldn't enjoy a well developed, pleasing accent.
51. Do you dream more good then bad? Well, I can say they're good judging from the fact that they are such one-of-a-kind experiences. My dreams are highly sensual experiences that are often made up of random surreal abstractions from the depths of my inner psyche, feelings and memories. Other times, and much more rarely they are composed senarios which utilize a realistic logical foundation and have much greater detail and feelings of realism than normal. Overall, I most often have dreams that share many qualities from each side of this dichotomy.
52. Can you interpret your own dreams or do you have to have someone else tell you what they think? I believe I interpret them very well, since I usually break down and analyze each of my dreams and see how they came to be and what mental knowledge/sources they've formed from.
53. Radio or cd's? cds :OP
54. Movies or TV series? Both. Movies and televison programs may seem to be constructed based on seperate principles, but it's only like that due to time and financial restrictions involved in the production of products for these two mediums. If given the same resources and time the only seperated methods in experiencing these things would orginate from the desires of the creator(s) involved.
55. Ever regret saying something hurtful? I try not to say things with the intent to hurt another, but sometimes the things I say can, and are, regarded as being 'hurtful' due the person(s) hearing these things taking it irrationally
father: "If I were to live with you and mom (referring to my grandmother) in that house, mr.joe would hafta go, but we'd git alung fine yup yup :B"
me: "No, we wouldn't, so give me word beforehand if you are to actually move in over here"
father: "Why you say that?"
me: " Because I dislike being around you"
father: "You hate me so much ;_; *click*"
me: "That doesn't solve anything (talking to dead line)"
Other than that, there are a few times I said some things with the intent to cause emotional havoc, and yeah, I regret them all the same. :\
56. Ever regret expressing your love? I regret faking expressions, and dislike the idea that I had poor recognition and delluded conceptions of my feelings when I was younger
57. Do you think some things should be left unsaid? Only if a person is in a situation or relationship that doing otherwise would jeopardize his or her personal saftey. But hopefully it won't be like this for much longer...
58. Do you stand up for yourself? A person's legs can only stand himself or herself up, so might as well establish a mental attitude that reflects and promotes this fact :O/ :OP ;Oo
59. Do you stand up for others? If I rationally feel compelled to do so, I'll do my best to assist a person in their struggles.
60. Do you know the difference between standing up for others and fighting someone else's battles? Definitely. Most people who deal with similar problems are just as capable as me, and probably on a higher lv. than I am, so I respect that fact and assist them when I find it necessary and/or benefical.
I didn't proofread much of that, but I'll definitely do so later on, and correct what's clouded and/or poorly worded. I'll also update with some other stuff to say. For now, I'm just too pooped, and my body aches like a decrepit 90 year old witch, so I'll go get some sleep and rejuvenate my body and mind. Feel free to comment.
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